Tuesday, June 12, 2007

You're Fired!

Mr. Zimny doesn't like to fold laundry. *gasp* you might say, but yes, it's true.

Despite not folding his own laundry, it is important to him that his socks get matched correctly. Shouldn't be a problem you say. Just match the freaking ankle high black sock to another ankle high black sock. What is so hard about that?!
It isn't ultrafast spectroscopy for goodness sakes!
Right.

Except for the fact that by ankle high black sock you could mean any one of the 14 bazillion types of ankle high black socks that the man currently possesses. Did you know there are 14 bazillion types of these socks distinguishable only by tiny details like color variation, cuff design, etc?
Well, there are. And he owns one pair of each.
So matching socks has become a bit of an art form in this house.

The real story is that one night I came home from work late, like 2am. I can't sleep right away, so I fix myself some tuna fish and sit on the couch where low and behold! there is a basket of laundry just waiting to be folded.

The lights are off so that, you know, I don't disturb THE HAPPILY SLEEPING PERSON WHO'S LAUNDRY I AM FOLDING AT 2AM.

Trying to be cognizant of the details, carefully match up all Mr Zimny's socks. I go to bed.
The next day I get an email:
"Just to let you know, I got your hint about my socks. I knew it was mathematically not probable that you could get every single pair of socks wrong and even match a brand new sock to an old sock with holes in it that is a different color."
Evidently I had mismatched every pair of socks. And he thinks I did it on purpose just to get him to do his own laundry. Honestly, I didn't.
But to this day I make a big deal out of trying to match his socks.

A weekend or two ago Dr. Meeshmellow attempted folding the socks. Should be easy for a full fledged Doctor, shouldn't it?! Hah!
Mr. Zimny announced last night that she has been fired. Fired from her glamorous (read: unpaid) job of folding his socks because she mismatched them all too.
I guess her doctorate isn't in ankle high black sock folding. Must have been ankle high white sock folding or something. Bummer.

3 comments:

Wet Shrub said...

And by 14 bazillion, you mean 2 different short black sock types. One clearly labeled in WHITE lettering "HANES" on the toes. The others with no label and hemmed at the ankle. Seems pretty clear to me.

Such incompetance from two individuals as dangerously overeducated as you are seems beyond even your own abilities to bungle things up. The only solution is that it was done on purpose to facilitate a firing. BTW, I am very careful in folding your socks, being sure to find as many matches as I can.

SisforScorpio said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
SisforScorpio said...

He's a little defensive, isn't he :)