Tuesday, May 13, 2008

The older children in the house.

Picture this scene: Maryn is magically down
for a nap during dinnertime.

Did you get the chills too?
I said the baby was asleep during dinner! Meaning we ate a whole meal without having to defend our plates, cups, silverware from grasping baby hands.
Anyhoo.... she's asleep. We finish dinner and Mr. Zimny says that he thinks we should wake her up soon so that she will sleep tonight.
Sure I say.
At the designated time, I say that I'm going to go wake her up.
"Hey, you want to try to poke her and run out like we talked about so that she thinks she just woke up on her own?" He says.
To me there are about a hundred things that are funny about this statement, I'll highlight just a couple.
First of all is that fact that at a previous time, we'd actually talked about poking her and running away to see what she would do. She's notorious for being crabby when waking up. Would she sit up and look for the poker? Would she give up and go back to sleep? Could we get away fast enough? Do other parents talk about little tricks they can play on thier kids?
I'm not sure I want to know the answer to the last one.
The second thing is that Mr. Zimny considers this method reasonable enough to bring it up AGAIN. It is an actual option. The third thing isn't really about the statement itself.

The third thing is that we actually did it.

At this point I ask myself is it wise to post this story on the internet. Hmmm.... well, maybe it's not, but whatever. I've already admitted that accidentally drenched my infant in an automated car wash.
Ok, so, this is different. I did it on purpose, but anything involving an poking an unsuspecting victim is hilarious to me, I can't help it.
So here we are. The scene:
Mr Zimny: "You won't be able to do it, you'll laugh."
This is soooo true. I would be hystarical with laughter just at the anticipation while moving in to poke. So I hide outside her room. Mr. Zimny sneaks up to her crib.
I can't help myself and burst in to laughter, trying my best to muffle it with my arm. In pantomime, he asks me if he should poke her in the head or the butt. And BECAUSE I AM A GOOD MOTHER I say he should poke her on the butt. I promply explode with snorty laughter as he reaches into the crib.
At all.
She doesn't even notice.
"Poke her harder!" I mime.
He does. Still nothing! It's like her butt is immune to wake up nudges.
Mr. Zimny says that he's gonna tickle her ear. To me, tickling the ear is about the only thing funnier than poking someone. I can now barely stand up because I am laughing so hard. Through tearing eyes, I see him lean over the crib again.
He leans back looking a bit deflated. He turns to me (hiding in the hall) and shrugs. "Nothing" he says.
Drastic times call for drastic measures people! Mr. Zimny decided to pull out his big guns - the wet willy without the wet. So, er, yeah, just sticking your finger in someones ear and wiggling it around.
He reaches down and gives her a little willy... and nothing?... wait... eee! run run! she noticed!
He races out into the hall. At this point, I am like a eye-watering ball of spasming blubber, uttering something between teheheheheheeh and spontaneous snorting. Wow, there is a picture for you. Yikes.
She sits up, we're watching from outside the door. She lays back down. We creep up to her crib to see if she's awake. Eeee! She sits up and catches us! No time to run! We're caught! She gives us a "What the....?" look. Then a big smile, like her parents didn't just totally wake her up by giving her a willy.
So this is what serves for entertainment in the Lloyd house on an average Tuesday... you're welcome to visit anytime. And because I AM A GOOD MOTHER, willys, wet or otherwise are complimentary

Monday, May 5, 2008

News Flash- Maryn knowns "In"

This just "in": Maryn has mastered the skill "put in". This has thrilled both parents and Maryn alike. Onlookers commented "It's amazing what a kid can learn while being neglected on the paper strewn office floor while her mother furiously works on her dissertation". Scientist estimate that at this rate, Maryn will have taught herself to drive before her mother finishes her dissertation.

In other, related news, Maryn is extremely cute sporting pigtails: