The older children in the house.

Picture this scene: Maryn is magically down
for a nap during dinnertime.

Did you get the chills too?
I said the baby was asleep during dinner! Meaning we ate a whole meal without having to defend our plates, cups, silverware from grasping baby hands.
Anyhoo.... she's asleep. We finish dinner and Mr. Zimny says that he thinks we should wake her up soon so that she will sleep tonight.
Sure I say.
At the designated time, I say that I'm going to go wake her up.
"Hey, you want to try to poke her and run out like we talked about so that she thinks she just woke up on her own?" He says.
To me there are about a hundred things that are funny about this statement, I'll highlight just a couple.
First of all is that fact that at a previous time, we'd actually talked about poking her and running away to see what she would do. She's notorious for being crabby when waking up. Would she sit up and look for the poker? Would she give up and go back to sleep? Could we get away fast enough? Do other parents talk about little tricks they can play on thier kids?
I'm not sure I want to know the answer to the last one.
The second thing is that Mr. Zimny considers this method reasonable enough to bring it up AGAIN. It is an actual option. The third thing isn't really about the statement itself.

The third thing is that we actually did it.

At this point I ask myself is it wise to post this story on the internet. Hmmm.... well, maybe it's not, but whatever. I've already admitted that accidentally drenched my infant in an automated car wash.
Ok, so, this is different. I did it on purpose, but anything involving an poking an unsuspecting victim is hilarious to me, I can't help it.
So here we are. The scene:
Mr Zimny: "You won't be able to do it, you'll laugh."
This is soooo true. I would be hystarical with laughter just at the anticipation while moving in to poke. So I hide outside her room. Mr. Zimny sneaks up to her crib.
I can't help myself and burst in to laughter, trying my best to muffle it with my arm. In pantomime, he asks me if he should poke her in the head or the butt. And BECAUSE I AM A GOOD MOTHER I say he should poke her on the butt. I promply explode with snorty laughter as he reaches into the crib.
Nothing.
At all.
She doesn't even notice.
"Poke her harder!" I mime.
He does. Still nothing! It's like her butt is immune to wake up nudges.
Mr. Zimny says that he's gonna tickle her ear. To me, tickling the ear is about the only thing funnier than poking someone. I can now barely stand up because I am laughing so hard. Through tearing eyes, I see him lean over the crib again.
He leans back looking a bit deflated. He turns to me (hiding in the hall) and shrugs. "Nothing" he says.
Drastic times call for drastic measures people! Mr. Zimny decided to pull out his big guns - the wet willy without the wet. So, er, yeah, just sticking your finger in someones ear and wiggling it around.
He reaches down and gives her a little willy... and nothing?... wait... eee! run run! she noticed!
He races out into the hall. At this point, I am like a eye-watering ball of spasming blubber, uttering something between teheheheheheeh and spontaneous snorting. Wow, there is a picture for you. Yikes.
She sits up, we're watching from outside the door. She lays back down. We creep up to her crib to see if she's awake. Eeee! She sits up and catches us! No time to run! We're caught! She gives us a "What the....?" look. Then a big smile, like her parents didn't just totally wake her up by giving her a willy.
So this is what serves for entertainment in the Lloyd house on an average Tuesday... you're welcome to visit anytime. And because I AM A GOOD MOTHER, willys, wet or otherwise are complimentary

News Flash- Maryn knowns "In"

This just "in": Maryn has mastered the skill "put in". This has thrilled both parents and Maryn alike. Onlookers commented "It's amazing what a kid can learn while being neglected on the paper strewn office floor while her mother furiously works on her dissertation". Scientist estimate that at this rate, Maryn will have taught herself to drive before her mother finishes her dissertation.


In other, related news, Maryn is extremely cute sporting pigtails:

Just in case we need Chevre after the apcolypse.

So, you haven't heard from us lately. You might guess that the Lloyd house has been enjoying some outside time... but oh no.

You might guess that we've been busy because
there is this thing called a Dissertation.
And it's DUE.
Like YESTERDAY already.

Even with those options available, what we've (I've) really been doing is preparing for the apocalypse. Not that I actually think it's gonna happen anytime soon... but it's a good motivator.

Unlike that Dissertation.
The one DUE ALREADY. (See mom, I get it)

When you think of the apocalypse and how you could possibly survive, you might plan to store water, or canned food and batteries.
We say that is all well and good. But why would you want to survive without Chevre cheese?
Seriously people, is life without cheese worth living?!

A while ago Meeshmellow tried (and succeeded!) at making actual, real, good, goats milk cheese at home.

Now you might say "oh, well, she's meeshmellow (and a chemist), of course she can do it."
So I'll finish it up with a "She said it was easy!".
To me, easy means that it doesn't take more that $20, more than 5 ingredients, or more than half a days worth of work. Guess what.
Cheese totally meets those requirements. I know, awesome, right?!

So here is what apocalypse preparation looks like in our house:
1) You use Google to find and purchase 2 ingredients: Rennet and Starter Culture (bacteria). You can get the goats milk at the grocery store.
2) You set out the equipment: some measuring spoons, a big spoon, a thermometer and a pot.
3) You follow the recipe which means first you heat up the milk, add the bacteria and rennet. Stir.
4) You then let the "inocculated" milk sit overnight. At room temp. That part kinda creeps me out.
5) The next day, you see if it's coagulated enough, drain the whey off and then let it drain in some cloth for a while. By "a while" I mean "as long as you can wait before eating it". Here is the stuff that I just let drain in cloth:
It came out like this:
















It was pretty dry, and stayed in big chunks like I wanted. So that was good.

I also pressed some of the wet cheese in a nifty difty cheese press. THAT I TOTALLY MADE IN EL MACHINE SHOP! I know, you TOTALLY want to see this press, don't you?!

Ok, yes, I just took a piece of tupperware and punched holes in it. BUT IT TOTALLY WORKED, AND I MADE A CHEESE PRESS BY MYSELF IN LIKE 30 SECONDS. We'll need cheese presses at the apocalypse people.






This cheese turned out like this:

So, it was dry and chunky just like I wanted it. But square.
And with herbs because I put them in before I pressed it.
All in all, the press was the better way to go, there was less tending needed.
Now all I need is A BIGGER PRESS.



6) After it's drained, you get to eat it. You can add some salt and whatever, but it's good anyway.
7) Do it all again so that you can be really good at it in time for the apocalypse.

I'll have to admit, this whole do-yummy-yourself thing was inspired by El Machinist, who can do almost anything and in a gourmet way. He got me all makin' bread and stuff. Which is why we have this as a resident in the fridge:

























It is super easy to make bread for dinner and whatnot. But all I could think about when I was eating the bread was how good it would taste with goat cheese. Hence the recent goat cheese activity.

When I brought the first batch of Chevre to El Machinist, he asked me where I got the ingredients. When I said the net, he said something like "It's apocolypse cheese, we won't have the internet. How can you make your own starter culture?" This then spurned a whole lunch hour of looking up how to start cultures and derive rennet from livestock or plants. Which, according to El Machinist after he read the instructions is " eh, easy enough to do... ". So there you have it.

Goat Cheese = Easy and yummy
Apocalypse = survivable, as long as your only requirements are bread and goat cheese
Dissertation = Not Complete

It looks like she got my hair.

I accept that I have my share of crazy hair moments. I generally call them morning time.
It seems that Miss M was blessed/cursed (take your pick) with crazy hair too, and oh, I have evidence.
Exhibit A: In the bath tub.




Now, I admit it, this is a bit staged.
But! The potential was there.
A lot of potential!











Exhibit B: The Dr. Emit Brown
(picture taken on a totally different day).
This is where the true potential of Miss M's crazy hair is realized.














She can attain all of the following
1) a blond afro
2) sleek, close to the head curls
3) 1/2 super wispy and straight, 1/2 kinda curly. We call this the Emit Brown hair style because it's kinda like the crazy doctor from Back to the Future, as seen here:

It's a crap shoot what she'll end up with every day.
She definitely got my hair.

The key is lots of bubbles....

Miss M was graced with a daddy bath this weekend. Baths are usually mommy-baby time, but we decided to switch it up a little. Mr. Zimny got the bath running (with lots of Mr. Bubble!) while I got Miss M undressed and ready. I sat on the toilet and watched and talked to them while they played. After a few minutes Mr. Zimny asked me if I was ok... as in, was I ok not being in the bath. I took that as a clue that I should give them their time alone......
But not before I snapped this classic pick:


After the bath Mr. Zimny told me that there was an "issue" after most of the bubbles were gone. Miss M started trying to grab for "things" that weren't bath toys. While there were bubbles, she couldn't really see below the water, but as the bubbles popped she started noticing "things". As Mr. Zimny says "the key is lots of bubbles....".

IFC does not mix well with TIVO

So we discovered that we get IFC (Independent Film Channel), which is about the quirkiest and fun channel on cable.

Here are the pros of IFC :

1) There aren't commercial breaks!
2) The movies are uncut. This might not seem like that big of a deal, but considering the kind of movies IFC tends to show, if the bad words were bleeped there wouldn't be any dialog. It would just be one long bleep.
3) The Whitest White Kids U'Know are on IFC. It's a show from the writers of Kids in the Hall. It is freaking funny - how can you not laugh at a rap song about dinosuars? I tried once. My head almost exploded.
4) You can see all the movies that major celebrities hope no one ever sees again. The movies they made before they cared about how much money they'd get. Before they had a career to ruin.

It also at least a couple cons.
1) You will get caught up watching crazy french movies that only show at 4am on the Independent Film Channel. I'm not sure there is any lower standard.
2) The is a lack of movies with romantic happy endings. If you are looking for the guy to end up with the cute girl instead of the nerdy guy, you're watching the wrong channel.
3) You can't watch ANY of these movies in front of your child. EVER. See pro #2.

So.... here we are. It's 12:04am on a Sunday.
We're watching a movie about strippers.
It's not a happy go lucky movie, if you know what I mean.

Here's a quote from Jennifer Tilly's character:
"I'm gonna have this kid! I'm gonna have this kid and
it's gonna grow up and sell drugs to your kid."

If you were to make a graph (and oh, I might!) of actors vs the number of their movies that are shown on IFC, Jennifer Tilly would be one of the highest scorers. It's just a guess.

You turn your head for a second.....

And your baby turns into a pirate!

Maybe not.
But when I said "You turn your head for a second...." you totally thought I'd finish it up with a "your baby falls and gets a goose egg" or something...didn't you?
Or maybe you're an optimist... and you thought I'd follow it up with a "your baby takes her first step".
Huh... Maybe I underestimated you.
Anyways. We finally made it on The Morning Walk
that I promised Miss M. Oh, you know The Walk.
It's The Walk that I promised we'd take if they actually opened
the Crack Shop around the corner from our house.
And by Crack Shop, I mean Starbucks. It's the same thing.
I told Miss M that if it actually opened it would be a good excuse to take a walk in the morning. True to my word, we made the 14 minute trek this morning. After we de-pirated the baby hat.